Becoming the Leader You Want to Be

I recently had a client tell me, after a few sessions, that she was so relieved that I had not told her how she needed to change, or what she should be doing differently. There is nothing wrong with focusing on behavioural changes. However, in my opinion, it may not provide the complete answer and often does not address the root cause of symptoms.

If we assume that you are always in some sort of relationship (with yourself or others), then this would mean that what you call a "problem" is simply a reaction that you are having when faced with a situation that does not give you the outcomes you are looking for.

Often, in the face of such "problems", we tend to ask ourselves the following two questions: What is wrong with me or what is wrong with the situation or the other people involved? This leads to a judgment call and often to strategies that are aimed at controlling our own or someone else's behaviour. If you recognize yourself here, then I should ask: how's this working for you?

As women, our fallback position is often: What is wrong with me? or "What can I DO to fix myself?" What if there is nothing to fix? What if instead of focusing on your behaviour or the behaviours of others, you looked into what created an underlying relationship in a particular situation. Certain behaviour patterns need to be fully examined and experienced so they can generate a transformation from within us. Emotions are simply energy in motion, unless we stop that movement.

Leading authentically: a new paradigm for leadership

Leadership has become quite the buzzword these days and with good reason: increasingly, it is being recognized that who we are and how we lead has a direct impact on the quality of our lives and the organizations that we collectively participate in.

Traditional notions of leadership have been mostly based on a command and control approach — keep emotions in check, mistakes/failure are not options, don't show your vulnerability, be strong and in control at all times, be directive, etc. For women, the pressure has been intense on them to fit that model, often at the expense of their true nature.

Lately, however, we are seeing a shift in what is required of leaders in these rapidly changing times. The shift, in my opinion, is happening not only at the physical level, but also at the level of our collective consciousness. It is no longer sustainable, nor as valued or recognized, to lead in a purely one-dimensional manner.

Let's explore notions of leadership from different perspectives. If we consider the "doing leader", there are a myriad of books that offer options on different leadership styles, such as servant leader, strategic leader, primal leader, thought leader, etc. This implies that we must "learn" to become leaders from the outside in, based on someone else's external definition of what is appropriate and required. It can become very stereotypical.

Teamwork – Is it Underrated or Overrated?

It depends...

If it means working collegially and listening to — and understanding — other members of the team, in order to determine best approaches, then it is.

If it means "toeing the corporate line", "not upsetting the apple cart", or "maintaining a civil workplace", then it isn't.

How do team leaders build dynamic teams?

Sound leadership is a key element in building sound teams. Through example, team leaders should be able to establish and maintain positive working environments, and to motivate and invigorate team members.

Open communication is a vital factor in the interpersonal interactions of teams. Team members must be able to articulate their thoughts and feelings, contribute ideas, resolve professional differences, and assess the viewpoints of the other team members.