Actions et réactions : essayer d'avoir raison ou agir avec bonté ?

Ça arrive à tout le monde de regretter d'avoir dit certaines choses et / ou d'avoir poser certains gestes en moments de stress ou de conflits.

En tant que psychologue et coach, des clients me consultent régulièrement pour avoir des conseils sur comment mieux gérer leurs relations interpersonnelles et cela autant sur les plans personnel que professionnel. Plusieurs se sentent dépassés et disent mal réagir lorsque stressés ou confrontés à des arguments ou conflits. Je remarque que plus souvent qu'autrement mes clients avouent que leurs réactions lors de telles situations interpersonnelles sont émotives et / ou impulsives et ne facilitent pas nécessairement la résolution du problème. Malheureusement pour certains, même pour plusieurs, démontrer qu'ils ont raison (et que l'autre partie a tort) devient leur objectif (consciemment ou inconsciemment) lors de tels échanges interpersonnels. Ceci amène à perdre de vue que l'objectif ultime est plutôt d'établir des relations interpersonnelles qui nous permettent de vivre une vie personnelle et professionnelle plus satisfaisante, positive et productive. Adopter un style interpersonnel trop rigide ou encore trop imprévisible ou évitant lors de telles situations mène plutôt à augmenter le niveau de tension, frustration, méfiance et insatisfaction sur le plan interpersonnel et cela affecte directement notre capacité de bien fonctionner et d'être productif.

Je rencontre souvent des clients qui me confient êtres stressés, déçus, tristes et frustrés par leur incapacité de régler leurs désaccords dans leur vie de couple. Cette incapacité affecte négativement leur vie de couple et peut contribuer à une rupture relationnelle à la longue. De même, certain de mes clients éprouvent des difficultés interpersonnelles au travail (avec leurs collègues et / ou leur supérieur) qui nuisent énormément à leur succès professionnel et à leur habilité à maintenir un emploi.

Pourquoi on ne peut plus négliger la problématique de la santé mentale au travail ?

Saviez-vous que plus de 20 % des Canadiens souffrent d'une maladie mentale au courant de leur vie ? Cette statistique est en effet reconfirmée par les derniers statistiques de Santé mentale et de dépendance (CAMH, 2012). De plus, seulement 30 % de ceux qui souffrent de maladies mentales reçoivent les soins dont ils ont besoin. Enfin, moins de 50 % des Canadiens se disent prêts à en parler à des amis ou à chercher de l'aide d'un professionnel; cela en dépit de l'efficacité démontrée des différents traitements psychologiques et pharmacologiques qui existent.

De nos jours, maintenir un bon équilibre vie-travail devient de plus en plus problématique pour la majorité d'entre nous. Selon plusieurs sondages, environ 50 % des Canadiens ont des difficultés à rencontrer leurs différentes obligations professionnelles, personnelles et familiales (Santé Canada, 2008). Ces difficultés semblent s'aggraver avec une économie fragilisée où la plupart des organisations essaient d'en faire plus avec moins de ressources humaines et financières.

Étant donné le nombre significatif de personnes affectés par la maladie mentale, il n'est donc certainement pas surprenant d'apprendre que les coûts financiers de la santé mentale sur la société soient énormes, et représentent l'une des premières causes d'invalidité au travail (soient 70% des coûts totaux d'invalidité) ainsi que des cas prématurés de mortalité. Le stress à lui seul, représente une menace majeure pour le travail et la productivité, et totalise des coûts de 14 milliards par année en Santé mentale au Canada. Tout ceci amène conjointement à une somme de 51 milliards de $ / année en coût reliés aux soins de santé et perte de productivité au travail (Statistiques de Santé Canada, 2008).

C'est donc dire que la détresse psychologique et leurs impacts deviennent de plus en plus préoccupantes dans le monde du travail d'aujourd'hui, et incontournables dans d'analyse de la situation du travail en termes de résultats attendus et de productivité.

Maîtriser le stress au travail

On le sait, la vie professionnelle est génératrice de plusieurs stress. Le Dr Yaniv M. Benzimra, psychologue clinicien et organisationnel, nous propose des stratégies gagnantes pour ne pas se laisser envahir par eux.

Vous pouvez agir.

Le stress est un déséquilibre entre les demandes qui nous sont faites et notre habileté à y répondre à l'intérieur d'un laps de temps déterminé. Le stress est normal à court terme, mais ses effets à long terme sont négatifs. On peut agir sur trois plans : l'intervention primaire, l'intervention secondaire et l'intervention tertiaire.

Lire la suite :

Maîtriser le stress au travail by Y2CP

Wondering if you are ready to retire? Eight questions to ask yourself...

The way we imagine and go through retirement will be different for each one of us, depending on our experiences, our interests, and our lifestyle. This period could be an opportunity to reflect upon and to make a new start in our lives. Dr. Yaniv Benzimra outlines eight questions we should ask ourselves to know if we are ready — psychologically — to undertake this important transition.

1. Am I considering full or partial retirement?

   We are not required to go from an active professional life to full retirement; we can also choose to retire in stages. For example, over a period of five years we could go from five to three days, then to one day of work per week. This would allow us to spend some time away from work, to discover other activities, and to have some time to adapt to this new situation. We could also take time off from work for six months or a year to see how we would feel when we are not working. In certain cases, after retirement, we could work part time, for example as a consultant.

2. How do I feel about my work?

   We should ask certain questions based on our past work year, for example: Do I like my work? Am I looking forward to not working? To what extent am I defined by my profession? Do I still have things to achieve professionally or have I already been around the block? We can also think about the social aspects of work and the structure that work gives us. We can ask: Am I ready to live without my social network and outside of a structured work environment?

3. How do I feel about retirement?

   What are the advantages and disadvantages of a life without work? At the beginning of any new situation, there is a honeymoon period. But then routine sets in. After spending three to six months playing golf and travelling, think about what you are going to do during the next 15 or 20 years? In addition, am I feeling anxious about retiring or am I looking forward to it? If we have several projects lined up, it is obvious that this period will be more attractive. However, we should avoid feeling pressured by others.

4. Have I looked at the state of my health and my energy level?

   Does my work create too much stress and health problems? Am I able to produce at the required level? Am I always tired, burned out by the time I arrive home? Do I have health problems? Can I pursue my career given my current state of health and energy level? We shouldn't wait until we are sick to stop working. We should do it as a preventative measure, so we can enjoy our retirement. We can also ask ourselves how we feel on weekends and when we are on vacation. If we are anxious to return to work, it's because our interest in it is still strong.

Êtes-vous prête à prendre votre retraite ?

8 questions à se poser...

La manière d'envisager et de vivre la retraite sera différente pour chacun d'entre nous, selon nos expériences, nos acquis et notre manière de vivre. Cette période de vie peut être l'occasion de se redéfinir et de prendre un nouveau départ. Le Dr Yaniv M. Benzimra propose ici huit questions à se poser pour savoir si on est psychologiquement prêt à effectuer cette transition importante.

La retraite ouvre un nouveau chapitre de vie et donne l'occasion de faire ce qu'on avait mis de côté. Les retraités ont en moyenne 33 % plus de temps libre. Qu'allez-vous faire de votre temps ?

Êtes-vous prête à prendre votre retraite ? - Article Le Lundi

Secrets of Assessment Centre Design

An Assessment Centre is an excellent tool for identifying leadership potential, executive development or succession planning.

Assessment Centres can be made up of job simulations alone or combined with other tools such as psychometrics, 360-degree feedback and a competency-based interview.

Where the aim is development only, self-report questionnaires and periodic feedback during the program are also useful.

To be effective, an Assessment Centre needs to mirror a target job or level in the organization. It needs to present participants with stretching challenges similar to those they would face in that job or at that level. Assessment Centre exercises are simulations of the most critical challenges that must be dealt with effectively at the target level.

Assessment Centres can simulate any job, including sales or customer service roles and all levels of management. For the latter, maximum benefit is obtained when the first level of management is the target. This is where we get the classic problem: "When I promoted Jim, I lost my best sales person and gained a poor manager."

The challenging transition from individual contributor to manager

To decide how best to assess the potential to move successfully to a first management role we need to explore why failure is so common in this context.

Usually, employees are promoted because they excel at their current jobs. Following orthodox wisdom, they like to play to their strengths. Under the pressure of a higher profile role, many revert to type and continue to do what they do best, failing to realize that they need new skills for an entirely new role. Being good at their individual contributor roles means having high standards of performance. This positive work ethic, however, can combine negatively with their need to prove themselves in their new role as manager, leading them to do too much, be too directive and over use their formal authority.

With the pressure to prove themselves, it is tempting to manage the newly inherited team too closely, thus working more as a lead hand than as a leader. When their controlling approach runs into resistance, the frequently used way out is to "sweep aside" inherited team members, hence the widely used label: "new broom". This is a huge waste of talent and money.

Quelques trucs pour nos résolutions de 2013

Bon. Nous y revoilà. Déjà, diront certains. Les Fêtes sont terminées : place aux nouvelles résolutions ! Une étude américaine (University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology) rapporte que près de la moitié des américains (45%) prendront une résolution cette année... mais que plus de la moitié de ceux-ci l'abandonneront en cours d'année. On explique qu'environ 8% des gens atteindront complètement leurs objectifs. Mais pourquoi est-ce si difficile de respecter nos résolutions ? Voici donc quelques mises en garde pour vous aider à les maintenir, et à faire de 2013, une année remplie de réussites !

• On ne doit pas « s'attaquer » à plus d'un comportement à la fois (maximum de 2-3 dans l'année);
• Il faut s'accorder du temps et (bien) choisir une « vraie » résolution;
• Si on souhaite vraiment changer un comportement, il faut s'arrêter et penser au COMMENT FAIRE pour y arriver : quels moyens allons-nous privilégier pour atteindre nos objectifs ?
• Nos objectifs se doivent d'être « SMART », c'est-à-dire :
  1. Spécifiques (combien de livres/kg; prendre un cours de quoi exactement, etc.)
  2. Mesurables (mangez 5 portions de légumes à tous les jours, ou faire 15 min de marche, 3 soirs/semaine, etc.)
  3. Atteignables (arrêter du jour au lendemain ou graduellement ?)
  4. Réalistes (perdre 10 lbs en une semaine ? Vraiment !?)
  5. Temps alloué / limite (pour les atteindre : d'ici le 1er juin 2013 par exemple)

Lorsqu'un changement s'opère, il s'accompagne pour les individus concernés d'un processus de deuil des situations antérieures (je ne me permets plus de manger du chocolat en regardant un film, par exemple). L'étape de déni, étape primaire du changement, se manifeste par des résistances au changement. Plus ces résistances sont grandes, plus les individus risquent de tomber dans des comportements tels que la rébellion ou l'abandon (démotivation, découragement). Notre défi, est de l'ordre mental : passer du concept de « changement » à celui « d'adaptation permanente » (ex : suivre une diète vs adopter de saines habitudes de vie et de saines habitudes alimentaires).

Selon Prochaska et Di Clemente (1999), le changement est un processus qui fonctionne de manière cyclique. Ainsi, le cycle de Prochaska définit en 6 étapes le changement de comportement :

Retirement: Achieving Financial, Physical and Psychological Well-being

A recent Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology (SIOP) White Paper entitled "Achieving Well-being in Retirement: Recommendations from 20 Years' Research" by Mo Wang (University of Florida) and Beryl Hesketh (University of Western Sydney/Macquarie University) recommends the following for those contemplating retirement:

"...maintaining good health, actively engaging in financial planning for retirement, having realistic estimates of longevity, being clear on one's financial goals in retirement, and participating in paid employment after retirement are all realistic ways of achieving fiscal well being."

The authors also conclude that it is important for individuals to take the initiative to improve both their knowledge and understanding of financial matters, and of work-related skills and knowledge.

In terms of achieving physical well-being in retirement, the authors note that "having good health behaviours and habits in retirement is critical for their physical well-being." They recommend that individuals engage in certain daily levels of physical and/or cognitive activities. The latter could include leisure activities such as dancing, playing board games, reading, doing crossword puzzles and playing an instrument. All stimulate learning in the brain and may reduce the risk of dementia.

Retiring Early (or Simply Retiring)? Are You Ready For It?

Almost 15 years ago (time goes by quickly), I took early retirement from the public service when the federal government offered many of us a "golden handshake".

At the time — it sounded wonderful. I planned on returning to teaching and to paint in my spare time — a lot of spare time. Supply teaching turned out to be a lot different from what teaching had been when I was fresh out of university, and I could have starved as an artist — lots have — although it is still a great pastime.

Like me, early retirement is viewed by many (especially before the age of 60) as a career change or an opportunity to try different things, to take on part time or contract work, to learn new things, to share knowledge, and so on, instead of it being the end of your work life.

Still, perhaps the biggest complaint about retirement — either early or regularly-scheduled retirement — is boredom. Not having enough to keep you busy or enough meaningful things to do. Lunches with old friends and golf games every day may wear thin over time. That's why it's important to have outside interests — volunteer activities, hobbies and the like.

Not having any work stress may sound wonderful for someone who retires at 65 or older but for someone who retires early — say at 50 — and for someone who retires from a challenging work world — too little stress can create problems of their own. For example, stress researchers have underlined that a minimal level of stress is required to motivate people to perform tasks more efficiently. Not having this type of "minimal" stress can create a void which is hard to fill.

When I retired early my wife was still working. Having me around the house all the time created its own sorts of problems. There were also expectations that I should be doing more around the house. And often I found myself interrupting her routines. After six months of this, she asked me to find something meaningful to do outside of the house! Her exact words were — "go find another job!".

Managing Stress and Balancing Work Demands

It has been reported that disability claims related to mental illness (including claims for acute stress reaction, depression, adjustment disorders, anxiety and PTSD) in the federal public service continued to increase last year and accounted for 48 per cent of all claims filed.

Stress: Among an Employee's Worst Nightmares

Has your job ever drained you to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion? Does this feeling of weariness go on for days, weeks, or even months? If so, you could be stressing yourself beyond the breaking point.

Longer-term or chronic stress — indeed, any significant amount of work stress — can have debilitating physical and emotional outcomes, and can wreak havoc upon an unsuspecting employee. It has been shown that stress occurs not only among those who are highly motivated and committed but also among those who are not. We also know that employees, both in the private and public sectors, may experience stress in varying degrees.

Job demands can create or trigger mental health problems, including stress and anxiety. As such, it is important for employees to learn how to recognize and to guard against factors that cause these problems, or to make adjustments to working conditions and practices that may be causing them.

Is your work stressing you out? Should you tell your manager?

Is it in the interest of the manager, to whom you report, to help you, as an employee, deal with stress in the workplace? The answer is a definite "yes".

Chances are, if managers are paying attention, they already know there's something wrong. They can sense the difference in your behavior in meetings, and see it in the quality or precision of the work you're producing. A manager may ask what's wrong or try to find out informally, but some may not know what to say even when they recognize that you may need help. In that case, it may be up to you.

Looking for a New Job? Tips for Applicants

You are looking for a new job and, in turn, employers are looking for qualified candidates.

Many of these tips for job searchers are not new. However, following some or all of them could make a difference for you as a potential candidate.

CV/Resume:

While content is key, the format of your CV or resume can also be important. Keep it simple but attractive.

• Include objective statements only if requested by potential employers. Otherwise, they don't add anything of value to your resume.
• If you have not completed your university degree or diploma program, don't make it look like you might have. Simply indicate the current status of your studies or expected completion date.
• Don't just list your title, length of time in a position, and tasks, include your key accomplishments and results, as well.
• Include information about new skills learned or used in various positions.
• Indicate what you did in the job; not what the team or the unit did.
• List jobs you have held in chronological order, starting with the most recent. Include only the relevant, not necessarily all your job experiences.
• Avoid acronyms other than those in common use.
• Be positive.
• Use simple language. And proofread (or have someone do it for you, or both).
• Research other sources on CV/resume writing.

Job loss from the manager's perspective...

Laying off an employee is often a difficult experience for managers. It is a painful task which can put them through a whole range of emotions (e.g., sadness, relief, disappointment, uncertainty, powerlessness, anger, fear, etc.). To deal with this experience the best way possible, it is important to prepare properly before announcing the news, gather information and understand the hardship that may be caused, both to you the manager and to the employees losing their job.

Here are a few strategies that can help you announce a job loss to the person who will be leaving and to the rest of the team.

Announcing the news to departing employees

It is important to always show empathy and compassion when informing employees that they will be losing their job. Garderet (2005) has developed a model to guide physicians who have to tell patients that they have cancer. We have adapted that model to a job-loss situation:

Announcing a job loss

• Prepare for the meeting: allow sufficient time, find a quiet, discreet location, announce the news in person, etc.
• Understand what the person already knows about the situation.
• Provide information in a brief, concise and encouraging way.
• Respond with empathy to the person's emotional reactions.
• Summarize what was said, and talk about the next stages.

Losing your job: dealing with loss and bouncing back

Over the course of their lifetime, many people will deal with the loss of a job. We have started a series of short blogs about this experience. The first addresses the difficulties that people who lose their jobs may experience and the mourning period that follows. The second covers things that can be learned from the experience. The third short text looks at the experience of the managers who are doing the lay-offs. Job loss is often a difficult experience. It can affect people on different levels:

• It can undermine identity: For many people, their identity is linked, in part, to their work. For example, some will identify themselves with their workplace or their profession. This sense of identity can be shaken after losing a job.
• Self-esteem and self-confidence are also often tested, and it is very important to work at rebuilding them.
• Some people may be embarrassed by losing their job, regardless of the reasons for the job loss. This feeling is very difficult to deal with and to share; talking with people who have had a similar experience can help decrease its intensity.
• Losing a job can also bring back memories of other losses, like losing a job in the past, or losing a parent.
• Many will agonize about the uncertainty, their future, their financial situation, etc.
• It creates stress for many people; this stress can also affect other facets of their life.
• The experience can cause psychological distress that sometimes worsens and leads to depression or other mental health problems. In such cases, people should not hesitate to consult with a professional who will be able to help them overcome these problems.
• The loss of a job also gives rise to what we call secondary losses, like the loss of colleagues, routine, lifestyle, etc.

Mourning the loss

Losing a job often causes grief, which Kübler-Ross (1969) divides into the following stages:

Moving past loss: bouncing back after losing a job

Notwithstanding the hardship often experienced following a job loss, it can be beneficial to try looking at what can be learned from the experience. The loss of a job can be seen as a transition, an opportunity to take time to think about your career, revisit your needs, wants and priorities, think about your future, and sometimes, refocus your career.

Many people begin a process of introspective reflection after losing a job. It can often be beneficial to make it a time:

• To explore your environment and compile information about available jobs, various organizations and workplaces...
• For introspection: revisit your interests, values and experiences. Seeing how these values can be useful in a job situation can help guide your reflections on your career and your life.

Learning from the experience

Losing a job is also an opportunity to question yourself and try to understand:

10 Tips: When You Lose Your Job

1. Learn all you can about the work force adjustment process. It’s important to understand and to think about your options and your rights.
2. Establish a new daily routine. A new type of work day and new goals for yourself.
3. Look into your resources. Cut expenses if necessary. Check into your benefits (e.g. health insurance). Investigate alternatives.
4. Seek the emotional support you need — from family, friends, counsellors, psychologists, and other professionals.
5. Look after your health. Find out how to deal with stress. Continue exercising and socializing. Try not to overeat or under eat. Limit alcohol and caffeine consumption.
6. Continue or start networking. Start talking to people. Let your contacts know that you are looking for work.
7. Don’t be ashamed you are out of work. Don’t blame yourself (often these things are outside our control).
8. Learn to deal with change. If you can’t find a job similar to the one you had, look for new ones for which you are qualified. If necessary, seek some training, go back to school, consider relocating...
9. Be good to yourself. Once you have taken a bit of time to get over the shock of loosing you job, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Don’t isolate yourself.
10. Keep your sense of humour. It’s tough but try to remain positive in the face of adversity.

Leaman Long, B.A., B.Ed.
HRM Consultant
Y2 Consulting Psychologists Y2

If you have any questions and/or comments, don't hesitate. Thank you!

L'incertitude

« l' (...) épreuve nous ébranle d'autant plus fort qu'elle nous atteint à l'endroit précis où nous ne l'attendions pas. Nous aimons les certitudes à un point tel qu'il nous arrive d'en préférer de fausses à la vérité. » (Malherbe, 1996 p.11)

Souvent, au cours de notre vie, nous sommes confrontés à l'incertitude. Pour certains elle survient lorsque leur emploi est menacé, pour d'autres quand ils attendent un diagnostic important, une grande nouvelle, quand une relation est ébranlée et que ses suites sont incertaines, etc. Les sources d'incertitude très nombreuses et génèrent une panoplie d'émotions...

Qu'est-ce que l'incertitude ?

L'incertitude est : « Cet état dans lequel se trouve un individu qui, nourrissant un désir, se trouve confronté à son propos au champ ouvert des possibles. ». (Bronner, 1997, p.4). Elle est source de différentes émotions.

Souvent l'incertitude engendre un stress ou une anxiété importante. Quelques fois elle va se transformer en tristesse, en découragement, en colère, etc. Mais elle est aussi parfois une source d'espoir, d'excitation ou d'apprentissages.

Comme le souligne Malherbe (1996), sans convictions la vie perd sa couleur, sa consistance et pour certains elle semble perdre sa valeur. En ce sens, les convictions sont nécessaires, elles nous poussent à foncer dans la vie, à avancer, elles sont à la base de notre motivation. Inversement, l'incertitude ébranle cette motivation. C'est pourquoi, entre autres, l'incertitude est aussi difficile à vivre. Et pourtant, l'incertitude est inhérente à la vie...

Tips on Writing Government Exams (especially the electronic kind)

While not all government exams related to selection processes are the same, many are similar. So we have put together a number of tips for those of you who may be writing them. Some of these may seem obvious but based on our experience at Y2CP...

1. Read the exam instructions first — from beginning to end.
2. Follow the instructions. If there is a page limit, don't exceed it. Chances are that, if you produce a two page text and the maximum length in the instructions is 'one page', your second page will not be scored.
3. Be as comprehensive as possible (in the allotted time and space).
4. Do only what is asked in the instructions. If the question asks for five examples, providing a sixth is unnecessary.
5. Manage your time. If you have three tasks, try to allot a certain amount of time to each depending on the level of difficulty/complexity. Often candidates run out of time answering their last question.
6. Save your document(s) at regular intervals.
7. Use plain language. Write clearly. Check your spelling, grammar, punctuation and syntax.
8. Use Internet sources to quickly research relevant background information for your responses — if the exam is sent electronically. But watch your time.
9. Use your own words or quote your sources. Copying and pasting text from Web documents (on 'electronic exams') is normally a 'no, no'.
10. Remember that content is more important than format.

And finally (or perhaps first thing), prep. Check out the Web site for the department/agency running the selection process, which usually contains the current Report on Plans and Priorities (RPP), the Departmental Progress Report (DPR), and other relevant documents on mandate, priorities, etc.

Leaman Long, B.A., B.Ed.
HRM Consultant
Y2 Consulting Psychologists

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